What the greatest forfeit taught me about loss

From a basketball perspective, the last 12 months I’ve had a lot of losses on court as a coach, manager and player – but the prospect of “forfeiting” taught me a lot about myself and my year just past.

In both my district and domestic basketball coaching I've nearly had to forfeit many games in the last 12 months - until I started to look at it differently 

Its been a big twelve months in my life having all of a sudden found a dramatic increase in my involvement in basketball. Twelve months ago my jobs with the Adelaide Lightning and NBL had concluded after much hope had been placed in resuming those roles. I still had good work with my other community organisations and some small media roles but I thought my ship had sailed and the opportunity to write about basketball to support the community around me.

After much prayer to decide which direction to head next – I then made the decision off the back of this loss in faith to invest in my business TJ Prentice Media and registered it. I continued to cover the NBL1 Central independently while even focusing in on womens basketball local, afar and tournament play. Then my landscape began to change. 

The NBL reinstated me to my previous NBL1 Central reporting role while also being able to continue commentating games. I took on the GM role at my basketball club Holdfast Heat as well as my old scholars for Concordia College – which begun to re-up my involvement in basketball again. With that came the stress and worry of a weekly prospect that dogs the manager of a basketball club and groups of teams – the forfeit.

The decision to forfeit can sometimes be easy and accept loss of that weeks play but when you start to factor in the financial cost of doing so, the impact on your opposition that you were looking to play and the reputation you can garner for not turning up can sometimes overshadow that decision. I will count at least 20 times in 2022 where I nearly called in forfeiting games to our competitions head. 

As a GM of these teams I suffered a lot of anxiety and stress in the lead up to domestic games on weekends last year and I worked out why that was. I was trying to rely on my own strength and willpower to make things work and put it simply – that just wasn’t working.

As a man of faith – when your stressing about whether you have enough players for the weekend on Thursday night two days before a game in your own strength – you have a problem that needs addressing        

On Good Friday 2022 I remembered the greatest forfeit of all so that I would not have to rely on my own strength and that very thought changed it for me completely. Instead of panicking and thinking there’s no one out there that wants to play – I took the lack of my usual teams as an opportunity to reach out to old friends from past, to use fill in groups to find potential new inclusions and relied on the power of prayer to fill each team with what they needed. Somehow each game went ahead and regardless of result matches were played – but there was a greater impact on my life that I now understand looking back I needed in my life.

My world opened up as I reconnected with past players, friends and supporters – even if they couldn’t play that weekend it was my way of reaching out and saying “I thought of you and have not forgotten you.” The basketball fill ins group introduced me to so many new people I was not connected with and most which I found out already knew someone I did. The prospect of a loss actually helped me build relationships unexpecting and helped find key people in my future.

Building relationships with people rather than relying on my strength, gifts and talents has allowed these things to shine through and the fruits of that were realised in the second half of last year. The timing again of course was perfect even though it was not my ideal to have it all happen at the eleventh hour. I had been made redundant from one of my community roles I had done the last ten years but also had just made connections and relationships with some basketball media people in the Cluch network. Instead of a pause in my season my commentary continued with them for the Adelaide 36ers home games – another dream of mine from way back.

Little did I know that a small reach out to one of the esteemed basketball outlets of the last decade in the Pick and Roll Australia purely because I wanted the WNBL to be more in the spotlight – put me in a position to continue working in basketball media. A visit to the FIBA Womens World Cup and investing in volunteering and giving maximum effort yielded more connections and relationships that built on from what I had.

Instead of a quiet summer I was able to attend, commentate, write and bring to public awareness the WNBL, NBL, NBL1 off-season and much more. It allowed me to release my desire to restart my redundant program and continue onto the next working chapter of my life. I spent more time at grassroots district and domestic level developing a womens program for my beloved SA Church Stars and SACBA clubs which has yielded juniors for the first time in a long time.

Now I find myself with some key roles in the NBL1 Central and basketball media industry working contract for various organisations whilst continuing on with my grassroots programs – and of course one of my other community programs that has incorporated elements of my previous work for a larger youth cohort.

As a young man once on the spectrum and some areas of course still evident – relying on my own strength, gifts and talents alone would’ve not gotten me very far as you can see.

It is not by my works but by grace shown to me by the one that suffered the ultimate forfeit that has me where I am today…         

For those that have read this far let me tell you the most important thing you will hear today. The ultimate forfeit was my saviour in Jesus Christ on this day a long time ago as he gave his life for everyone – in every aspect of life he has taught me all I know, how to act, how to speak, listen, hear and show tremendous respect to all around me.

I can’t be this in my own self and you’ll see in me daily when I am leaning on myself rather than on him. Regardless of what you believe today know that it is because of the above you have the “TP” of today and not a different one. A wonderful woman in my life sees that now and I have the joy and excitement in going into an everlasting marriage with her later this year.

Given the above – should we not reflect on what loss means to us when we all suffer this daily in one form or another? How we look and view it from afar can change the direction of your life and as a basketballer – help you to focus on what is most important and a bit more than just what happens on the court.

I hope this day this is considered for as we navigate through life – loss can teach us the most about ourselves and who we actually want to be…

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